Ok, so yesterday as far as eating goes was a complete disaster. Cupcakes....too much lunch...the only part that I felt successful at was late night snacking. I know you aren't supposed to do that but we do...all the time. Normally my go to is the Homestyle popcorn...and whatever candy I can get my hands on. Instead of going full crazy I had sunflower seeds and cuties while someone else who I love with all my heart, but I won't name names, went full bore on the cupcakes.
I really suck at eating breakfast...I loathe breakfast. I try to eat it. I eat like a cup of cereal and a piece of fruit but that is all I can stomach. I loved when I used to make smoothies in the morning but they are soooo much work. So I would buy the stuff...make one or two smoothies and then I wouldn't make them for a while and some of the stuff would go bad and I would just feel wasteful.
So hopefully eating is a little more successful today.
I didn't exercise...but I got my legs and armpits waxed...which makes me tighten up all my muscles when she rips that hair out...so I would consider that quasi exercise. But in all reality, my biggest issue with doing any kind of exercise is myself and procrastination. Anxiety is a really good feeder of procrastination...all the CRAZY reasons I can come up for not exercising would impress even the most seasoned fiction writers. I always think that when such and such happens I will have more time to walk/run, do yoga, join a gym, etc. Guess what? That thing that I am waiting for happens and I come up with another excuse which I come to after a full blown anxiety brainstorm. I am not quite sure how to over come this.
Procrastination effects so many other areas of my life. I have read every single web page result that comes up when you enter procrastination on Google. The one thing I keep trying to do is to just accomplish ONE thing because in normal life that would get you on a roll. Well when I am in an OK place it works for the most part, however, when I am struggling with my anxiety and depression it is literally like trying to remove some sweet 1990's wallpaper. I start to peel it back and it rips off just a small part...so frustrating...so I go back and I try to do it again...this time I have a bigger piece but it still tears off and continues to be frustrating. It also feels like I am literally dragging my body from one spot in the house to another. It seems ridiculous I know, but it is a real and true part of my life. I hope with time and with maybe some counseling that I can figure out how to not have these moments so often.
Yesterday, overall was a pretty OK day. I got some new furniture delivered. It is nice to have furniture to take up the walls...it kind of creates a homey feel...and with my gypsy ways...to feel at home is what I need!
With Love, Tara
Here are some of my new items.
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